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	<title>All Abroad</title>
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	<link>http://www.allabroad.es</link>
	<description>Magazine for the British community in the Costa Blanca, Spain</description>
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		<title>SAVING SPAIN MADE EASY</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2340&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=saving-spain-made-easy</link>
		<comments>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2340#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 May 2012 14:46:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dave Bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Trouble with Spain...]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2340</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[8 simple and easy steps to save Spain´s economy&#8230;

The roundabout girls can do their bit (for the country…rather than lying back and thinking of it…) and help out the Guardia. You see while they are ‘entertaining´ drivers, they could, while their head is in the glove box, check out his papers (insurance &#38; ITV) therefore saving our boys in green loads of time and the government plenty of money.
Let´s employ a freelance ´Man with the stamp’ who could move between government offices when the bloke who normally does it (the ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>8 simple and easy steps to save Spain´s economy&#8230;</p>
<ol>
<li>The roundabout girls can do their bit (for the country…rather than lying back and thinking of it…) and help out the Guardia. You see while they are ‘entertaining´ drivers, they could, while their head is in the glove box, check out his papers (insurance &amp; ITV) therefore saving our boys in green loads of time and the government plenty of money.</li>
<li>Let´s employ a freelance ´Man with the stamp’ who could move between government offices when the bloke who<span id="more-2340"></span> normally does it (the only one capable) is off. We´d need several in each city and town so that´ll help reduce the unemployment queue.</li>
<li>No more working at weekends, that will be banned and visiting the beach will be mandatory (at least four times a month). More beachwear and plastic bucket sales will certainly follow (we´ll ask the Chinese how to make them) creating yet more jobs and the need to catch up for some businesses after the weekend will mean that they´ll need to employ more people. Simple…</li>
<li>For the sake of morale the Spanish national anthem will need to be changed to something a little more upbeat – I propose ‘Riding along on the crest of a wave’ with everyone obliged to link arms  and make wave motions while singing it &#8211; especially footballers (just for the image it conjures up…).</li>
<li>A sun tax for everyone leaving the beach at the end of the day – worked out on a scale of how much sun they´ve soaked up by using a colour chart. This will raise more money for our beloved leaders and promote sales of sun-block  (especially amongst the Scottish…).</li>
<li>Water will be banned apart from using for washing and swimming in and will be replaced by wine. As we all know the wine industry employs loads more people than water companies and therefore although most of us will be bladdered most of the time this could prove a bonus for the kebab and curry industry.</li>
<li>Anyone parking a car between two others and hitting them will be fined. Three hits and you´re out on this one as the car will be confiscated and not returned until you can prove you should be behind the wheel of a car – not under it…</li>
<li>A BS tax for anyone claiming to be something they are clearly not. This mainly applies to expats who have gone the arduous route of gaining their professional qualifications and now proudly hold a Gatwick Diploma…</li>
</ol>
<p>And one just for me…</p>
<p>CAM bank employees (especially the one who used to be in Gran Alacant following his charisma by-pass) will be forced to queue for (quite) a while to collect their Paro, which will be handed out by me – just as soon as I finished talking on the phone…</p>
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		<title>WHY ARE THE PRESS SHOOTING EXPATS IN THE FEET?</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2338&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=why-are-the-press-shooting-expats-in-the-feet</link>
		<comments>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2338#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 May 2012 13:38:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dave Bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Editorial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Trouble with Spain...]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2338</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Are some newspapers scaring off visitors to Spain?
There is something in Spain that all of us businesses, whether big or small, rely on and that´s the influx of tourists in the summer and the comings and goings of people; splitting their life between the Costa Blanca and their native country. Whatever their reason for being here – we, as businesses in Spain, need them here. It´s simple and everyone in business knows it and therefore the behaviour of some of the expat press is even more inexplicable. Why do they ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Are some newspapers scaring off visitors to Spain?</p>
<p>There is something in Spain that all of us businesses, whether big or small, rely on and that´s the influx of tourists in the summer and the comings and goings of people; splitting their life between the Costa Blanca and their native country. Whatever their reason for being here – we, as businesses in Spain, need them here. It´s simple and <span id="more-2338"></span>everyone in business knows it and therefore the behaviour of some of the expat press is even more inexplicable. Why do they keep shooting us, and themselves, in the foot with a constant stream of front page headers that are designed to shock, and scare, the reader? Those readers are the ones who are being told that Spain is on its knees by the very people who rely on their people being here, whether in business or as a reader.</p>
<p>Now, don´t get me wrong I’m not tarring the whole of the expat press in Spain with the same brush, The Olive Press, for example, has a fine balance of good and bad but most of all ‘gets it’. And the Euro Weekly News also clearly takes a look at its content and balances the newspaper. Locally to me, on the Costa Blanca, The Coastrider stands out as a newspaper that reports its own articles (rather than harvesting stuff from the internet) and I know Louise Clarke and Paul Mutter do their jobs professionally, and of course, they ´get it’ too.</p>
<p>Times are hard, we all know that, and for businesses to survive we need all the help we can get – we´d soon be lobbying our town halls if they made our towns look unattractive and unwelcoming but that is exactly what some of the expat newspapers are doing right now. I´ve been tempted to write this article for a long time and after seeing yet more damning headlines from the worst culprits (unfortunately my old newspaper The Courier stands out – see for yourselves, take a look at their back issues) I waited for my ears to stop steaming (took a while, they’re fairly big…) and sat down to fight for my business and to ask (nicely) for the ones who are shooting our tootsies off, to stop. You know who are you are, so come on help out ALL businesses and give a better balance and not a constant roll of ´lets try and shock’ headlines. Again, don´t get me wrong, I’m not saying ignore the bad news, far from it but see for yourselves the constant flow of HOUSE PRICES FALLING or TAX RISES FOR EXPATS headlines that, we all know, don´t tell the whole story but attract the reader’s eye.</p>
<p>The trouble is (and as I mentioned before there are a good number of journalists who do their job professionally and do their research) that presenting bad news such as property sales are down or how corrupt a politician has been is easy and hard to argue as the facts are often blurry. But writing a good, well-researched article pointing out the positive side of life in Spain, or the fact that construction is going on and people are buying houses.</p>
<p>Just recently a friend, who works for one of the biggest estate agents in Spain, contacted a journalist at the Costa Blanca News to dispute his headline grabbing article that property sales in Spain were stagnant and construction had ground to a halt. He just denied the facts. Even when my friend offered to pick him up and take him around to each of the 12 sites with a half hour drive of his office – he refused, continuing to deny that it was going on.  (By the way if any journalists would like that list I’ll happily pass it on). When my friend also informed him that all the properties on the 12 sites were almost sold he must have almost dropped his blinkers… but that’s the trouble, if they´re not going to open their eyes (and the office door) and get out a bit, then all they will deliver is the easy stuff from the comfort of their laptop.</p>
<p>So come on guys and girls – give the businesses out here (businesses that make our existence possible) your support by doing your very best and presenting this country to expats as it really is for most of us – bloody great! (You can have that as a headline if you want…). But seriously, those who have concentrated on presenting the continual front page headlines that would frighten off Somalian pirates just have a look at what you are up to will you? If you are going to call yourselves The Good News Paper surely that should be reflected in what you present?  And just ask yourselves the question…if we keep on telling people how bad this place is, how long will we last? You really need to ´get it´.</p>
<p>I believe I live in a great country that has its problems, like most. No things aren´t good at the moment and people have even less money to spend but that just reinforces the argument for us to be positive and show possible visitors and fellow expats what a great place this is to be.  Yes it´ll take a little more time and effort but just imagine being out of the office, the summer breeze blowing across the top of your coffee as your interview an expat who has got a story to put smiles on people’s faces – now isn´t that a lot easier´ than sitting in an office watching the internet world go by?</p>
<p>Going for a lie down now…</p>
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		<title>A chance to put your tax affairs into order</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2333&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=a-chance-to-put-your-tax-affairs-into-order</link>
		<comments>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2333#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:32:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Andrea Burns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiscal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2333</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ In April, a new tax law was passed (RDL12/2012) that allows those obliged to pay certain taxes to put their tax affairs into order voluntarily, also for past years.
This law includes the Non Residents’ Income Tax. Those that have failed to pay the said tax shall present a declaration and add ten percent to the amount due. By fulfilling this, the tax authorities will no longer demand a fine, interest on arrears or surcharges.
Along with that declaration the necessary information has to be incorporated that allows the identification of the ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong> </strong>In April, a new tax law was passed (RDL12/2012) that allows those obliged to pay certain taxes to put their tax affairs into order voluntarily, also for past years.</p>
<p>This law includes the Non Residents’ Income Tax. Those that have failed to pay the said tax shall present <span id="more-2333"></span>a declaration and add ten percent to the amount due. By fulfilling this, the tax authorities will no longer demand a fine, interest on arrears or surcharges.</p>
<p>Along with that declaration the necessary information has to be incorporated that allows the identification of the assets and rights for which the tax payment is made.</p>
<p>It is important to note that the above no longer applies if the declaraction and payment is made after the tax authorities have notified about having initiated investigative procedures.</p>
<p>The period for presenting the declaration and making the payment will finish on 30<sup>th</sup> of November 2012.</p>
<p>And here some further tax changes that might affect the readers of this magazine:</p>
<p>-          For the tax years 2012 and 2013 the rate for the Non Residents’ Income Tax will increase from 24% to 24,75%.</p>
<p>-          Also for the tax years 2012 and 2013 the rate for the Capital Gains Tax will increase from 19% to 21%.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>For further advise please contact me, details below.</p>
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		<title>Discover the wonder of wood with Woodworks Direct</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2331&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=discover-the-wonder-of-wood-with-woodworks-direct</link>
		<comments>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2331#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:31:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Living Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2331</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With such a pleasant climate throughout the year, it’s no wonder that we choose to spend more time in our garden than anywhere else, which is why it pays to give it the personal touch.
With a world of inspired ideas for a charming finish to your garden or terrace, you can quickly make your home your own with thanks to Woodworks Direct.
Serving clients up and down the coast from North Alicante to Estepona, the company prides itself on providing distinctive garden structures at very affordable prices, and using only the ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>With such a pleasant climate throughout the year, it’s no wonder that we choose to spend more time in our garden than anywhere else<span id="more-2331"></span>, which is why it pays to give it the personal touch.</p>
<p>With a world of inspired ideas for a charming finish to your garden or terrace, you can quickly make your home your own with thanks to Woodworks Direct.</p>
<p>Serving clients up and down the coast from North Alicante to Estepona, the company prides itself on providing distinctive garden structures at very affordable prices, and using only the finest quality materials.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>They specialise in the manufacture of Pergolas, Carports, Gazebos and Lean-to’s which can be supplied in a user-friendly kit form, so very simple to erect even for the DIY phobic’s amongst us and as the name suggests delivered directly to your door! Each pack comes complete with fittings, with no cutting necessary as the pieces slot together and is simply secured in place. Plus a clear detailed set of Installation instructions is provided. And if you are still unsure, or have neither the time nor inclination to embark on the DIY adventure, Woodworks Direct have a team of skilled installers who are more than happy to take care of things on your behalf.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Aside from providing a pretty addition to the garden, Pergolas offer a plethora of functions also creating a pleasant seating area, walkway or a climbing structure for plants. Woodworks Direct has a range of styles and sizes, which are custom made to the clients requirements using fine, solid timber.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Another way to create shade is with the addition of a decorative Gazebo or Lean-to, perfect for partying and entertaining under or for simply chilling out. These are available in various sizes but can be made to measure if required.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Carports are an ideal solution in hot climates as they protect the vehicle from the sun, prolonging the life of tyres and paintwork, whilst also helping to keep the car interior cool.</p>
<p>Woodworks Direct carries standard sized carport framework, with horizontal rafters made from 6” x 2” (150mm x 50mm) and the upright posts from 4”x 4” (100mm x 100mm) although these dimensions can be modified to suit the individual’s requirements.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Finally Woodworks Direct will also take care of your pets as the range also extends to the manufacture of elegant Horse Stables, Dog Kennels and Donkey Enclosures. Fencing, Decking, Log Stores and solid pic-nic benches are other items also available.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Woodworks Direct pride themselves on their professionalism and reliability and have lots of repeat customers who take advantage of their Free Delivery Service to the Costa Blanca.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>For further information please contact Simon on <strong>649 540 016</strong> or <strong>966 19 55 22 </strong>or via email at <strong><a href="mailto:info@woodworksdirect.com">info@woodworksdirect.com</a></strong> or see our new improved website at <strong><a href="http://www.woodworksdirect.com/">www.woodworksdirect.com</a></strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>BARGAIN BASEMENT!?</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2329&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=bargain-basement</link>
		<comments>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2329#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:30:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dave Bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiscal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[La Marina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living Life]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2329</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Looking for a property in Spain? – why not bag yourself a bargain in LaMarina?
Dave Bull talks to local estate agents IPG and discovers some great properties at even better prices on the Urb’.
The newspapers may well be full of doom and gloom but here on the Costa Blanca there is always some good news for expats to make the most of. For example in La Marina, which – by the way – have some of the most beautiful beaches on the coast, there are bargains to be had!
Property prices ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Looking for a property in Spain? – why not bag yourself a bargain in LaMarina?</p>
<p><strong><em>Dave Bull talks to local estate agents IPG and discovers some great properties at even better prices on the Urb’.</em></strong></p>
<p>The newspapers may well be full of doom and gloom but here on the Costa Blanca there is always some good news for expats <span id="more-2329"></span>to make the most of. For example in La Marina, which – by the way – have some of the most beautiful beaches on the coast, there are bargains to be had!</p>
<p>Property prices have steadied but some people still want to sell up and move on, and quickly, and that means that there are some great properties to be had – at very reasonable prices.</p>
<p>I’ve spoken to local experts IPG who have been trading in the area for almost ten years now and they showed me just some of the great offers they have at the moment. For example on La Marina Urb (REF 548) there is a beautiful (detached) three bedroom, two bathroom house tucked away in a nice quiet location. This used to be a show house with a wonderful landscaped mature garden in a 500m2 plot. It has master bedroom with en suite, a very nice kitchen and separate utility area and upstairs a sun-catching solarium. This place comes fully furnished and you could get all this for just 199,000€, not bad eh? Another place Anne McGregor showed me on the Urb’ was a little smaller but the price must be attractive to anyone looking! Just   64,950€ (REF 457) could net a buyer a two bedroom, two bathroom home in the sun with a solarium, terrace, dining room and air con already installed!</p>
<p>Other homes have been improved since first built and a tasteful three bedroom, two bathroom quad style home that I looked around certainly fell into that category. With a decent sized solarium and an en suite in the master bedroom this part-furnished property is only a very short walk from the communal pool too. Up for sale for only 104,995€ (REF 545) I’d suggest anyone looking should take a look at this one as my words wont do it the justice it deserves.</p>
<p>In, or around, the same sort of price range Anne showed me a few more that could easily be someone’s bargain home in the sun! (REF 602) is similar in description to the one above this place was absolutely immaculate with storage room also and again is well worth a look – especially for the asking price of 119,500€. Another of similar price and condition (RF 601) is a three bedroom, two bathroom Isabella style property which is on two floors and comes furnished and with an easy to maintain garden for 117,500€.</p>
<p>If those are little more than you’d consider then how about a three bedroom, 0ne bathroom quad style home in a quiet location? (REF 568). Fully furnished with off road parking, a communal pool and a lovely garden this place will cost a lucky buyer just 89,000€ &#8211; now that is a bargain!</p>
<p>Buyers looking to bag a bargain will be impressed with that little lot I’m sure – but I’ve saved the best for (almost) last! Anne showed me a very impressive (and spacious) three bedroom, two bathroom detached villa which even has central heating throughout! Two bedrooms with their own balconies, an independent kitchen and sold at AN ALL INCLUSIVE PRICE WITH NOTHING MORE TO PAY REF 483 is not going to be having a ‘For Sale’ board on it long as the total cost of buying this superb home is only 148,900€!</p>
<p>Not necessarily the best till last but I really liked this place on El Oasis (REF 609). A delightful quad style house in a lovely tranquil location with off road parking for just 119,500€, this place is in superb condition and has a solarium offering access to the third bedroom and a communal</p>
<p>Pool nearby. Very nice.</p>
<p>That’s all folks… Anne and Alan at IPG tell me they have many more like these too – so make the most of Spain and snap up a bargain before the prices rise inevitably again!</p>
<p>Contact Anne or Alan for any of these properties of if you are looking for something that you haven’t seen here.</p>
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		<title>JOKES!!</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2327&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=jokes</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:29:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2327</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Jan, Sue, and Mary haven&#8217;t seen each other since leaving School.
They rediscover each other via Friends Reunited, and arrange to meet for lunch.
&#160;
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress.
She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.
&#160;
Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number.
After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.
&#160;
Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots.
She too shares the wine.
&#160;
Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University, she met and married Timothy, with whom she ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Jan, Sue, and Mary haven&#8217;t seen each other since leaving School.</p>
<p>They rediscover each other via Friends Reunited, and arrange to meet for lunch.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress.</p>
<p>She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number.<span id="more-2327"></span></p>
<p>After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots.</p>
<p>She too shares the wine.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter.</p>
<p>Timothy is a partner in one of London’s leading law firms.</p>
<p>They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on Park Lane, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Portugal.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to become a doctor and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Mary explains that she after she left school at 17, she ran off with her boyfriend, Mark. They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow their own vegetables. Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco’s. They live in a small apartment in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front drive.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend&#8217;s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people’s home. They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Some of these answers are brilliant</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>I would have given him 100%</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?</p>
<p>* his last battle</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?</p>
<p>* at the bottom of the  page</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?</p>
<p>* liquid</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?</p>
<p>* marriage</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q5. What is the main reason for failure?</p>
<p>* exams</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?</p>
<p>* Lunch &amp; dinner</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q7. What looks like half an apple?</p>
<p>* The other half</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?</p>
<p>* It will simply become wet</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?</p>
<p>* No problem, he sleeps at night.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?</p>
<p>* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?</p>
<p>* Very large hands</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?</p>
<p>* No time at all, the wall is already built.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?</p>
<p>*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>He Said To Me!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>He said to me . &#8230; . I don&#8217;t know why you wear a bra; you&#8217;ve got nothing to put in it.</p>
<p>I said to him &#8230;. . . You wear pants don&#8217;t you?</p>
<p>He said to me &#8230; . &#8230;&#8230;&#8230; Shall we try swapping positions tonight?</p>
<p>I said .. That&#8217;s a good idea &#8211; you stand by the stove &amp; sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart</p>
<p>He said to me. &#8230; What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?</p>
<p>I said to him . &#8230;.. Turn sideways and look in the mirror!</p>
<p>He said to me. &#8230;.. Why don&#8217;t women blink during foreplay?</p>
<p>I said to him &#8230; . They don&#8217;t have time.</p>
<p>He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?</p>
<p>I said to him .. .. I don&#8217;t know; it has never happened.</p>
<p>He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?</p>
<p>I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.</p>
<p>He said&#8230;What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?</p>
<p>I said. . .. A widow.</p>
<p>He said to me&#8230;. Why are married women heavier than single women?</p>
<p>I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what&#8217;s in the fridge and go to bed.</p>
<p>Married women come home, see what&#8217;s in bed and go to the fridge.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>LIVE LIFE DIFFERENTLY</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2324&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=live-life-differently</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:28:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dave Bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Headline]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Living Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Trouble with Spain...]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[This is Spain]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[(This is Spain, you have no choice!)
They have a habit of stating the obvious often in  Spain don’t they? Or perhaps that’s just to me as I’ve found out on more than one occasion. Noting the scratch marks along all four corners of another friend’s new car he just said, ‘well that’s other cars that have done that – they have to get out of a parking space somehow…’ if it’d been mine…well, a few years ago I’d have been jumping up and down and searching the streets for a ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>(This is Spain, you have no choice!)</p>
<p>They have a habit of stating the obvious often in  Spain don’t they? Or perhaps that’s just to me as I’ve found out on more than one occasion. Noting the scratch marks <span id="more-2324"></span>along all four corners of another friend’s new car he just said, ‘well that’s other cars that have done that – they have to get out of a parking space somehow…’ if it’d been mine…well, a few years ago I’d have been jumping up and down and searching the streets for a car of a similar colour to the scratches, but not now…it’s a car, this is Spain – don’t expect anyone else to look after it.</p>
<p>But for all that, life inSpainis very interesting…and not only because of the cultural differences. Us expats are extremely good and providing fodder for the gossip mongers, and people like me who then go and write about it.</p>
<p>In my life as I write I have an ex-rent boy (and former chip shop owner) making his intentions clear, every time I bump into him, as to what he’d like to do to me. As ex-porn story writer, a mechanic who flooded my car in the strangest possible way from the inside- out…), a three time world record holder and a reverend who used to run drugs inAfrica. Now you won’t find that lot at your local pub in theUKI’m sure. And these are just the ones I mix with. I’ve met ‘millionaires’ inSpain(some of whom who have a cash flow problem…) ‘captains of industry’ who have come (and often gone again fairly soon) with innovative and fresh ideas to relieve trusting expats of their savings.</p>
<p>However, amongst the ones that remain (and the many well-intentioned new arrivals) you’ll find an energy and an appreciation for life as an expat inSpainthat is infectious. Many have developed an original idea from back in their native country or simply noticed a gap where they could fill the demand with a product or service and have done very nicely for themselves – I’m still looking…</p>
<p>The downside toSpainis the bureaucracy. It’s still jobs for the boys in many places and, although it is a pain that you’ll probably only have to endure once, if you haven’t been through the process of say, changing a foreign driving licence to a Spanish one, well – have a look at an Astronauts training manual and you’ll get the idea…</p>
<p>Yes, it must be said that when it comes to paperworkSpainis behind the rest ofEurope(mostly) but that’s a small price to pay for living here…trust me on that one.</p>
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		<title>Mr Grumpy v all these bloody Immigrants!</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2322&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=mr-grumpy-v-all-these-bloody-immigrants</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:27:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2322</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been involved in the thick of some pretty violent and frightening gang warfare taking place on my own doorstep over the course of these last few weeks.
Some of the local upstarts have made a stance against a group of die-hard immigrants that are attempting to take over their ‘manor’.
To be honest I shouldn’t have been surprised as it happens every year at the same time – starting when the clocks go back, and the warmer weather starts to show itself.
Most years I ignore it and hope that it ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have been involved in the thick of some pretty violent and frightening gang warfare taking place on my own doorstep over the course of these last few weeks.</p>
<p>Some of the local upstarts have made a stance against a group of die-hard immigrants that are attempting to take over their ‘manor’.</p>
<p>To be honest I shouldn’t have been surprised as it happens every year at the same time – starting when the clocks go back, and the <span id="more-2322"></span>warmer weather starts to show itself.</p>
<p>Most years I ignore it and hope that it won’t affect or disrupt me or my family too much, but this year I have been forced to get involved in the conflict going on between these two groups, often with me coming off the worse.</p>
<p>I know and fully appreciate that as an immigrant myself I am on shaky ground when it comes to proclaiming who has a right where to live and when etc&#8230; However, I feel quite strongly when a load of violent freeloaders move into my neighbourhood.</p>
<p>Who are these immigrant gangs? The Latin Kings from El Salvador? The Suarez Cartel from Mexico? The Russian Mafia? A Gang of Romanian Pimps?</p>
<p>Nope&#8230; a gang of Swallows from Siberia.</p>
<p>A family of Sparrows have been living quite contently and peacefully under my Naya for that last 12 months, raising their young and keeping the mozzies at bay. Apart from the occasion toiletry misdemeanour we have got along famously.</p>
<p>And then along come the bloody tourists – as soon as the sun comes out the Sparrows come back, pushing their weight around and disrespecting all around them, regardless of the commotion and upset it causes others. Although the locals are greater in number, they are generally much smaller and placid and can’t really put up much of a fight, so I know that they will end up being forced to move out for a few months whilst these bloody immigrants take over.</p>
<p>And I also know that these tourists will end up making one hell of a mess – that I have to clean up – and that I will probably have to put measures in place that effectively punish both gangs equally, leaving both parties banished from my manor.</p>
<p>I’m sure that there is a lesson there somewhere, but for the life in me I’m not sure what it is!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Alicante Airport: 1 Year (and counting&#8230;.)</p>
<p>It is just over one year since Alicante&#8217;s El Altet Airport celebrated the opening of its 20 Million Euro new terminal building, which I blogged about when catching one of the first commercial flights from the airport open to the great unwashed public.</p>
<p>Coincidentally, I am writing this blog from the departure lounge of the very same airport on the anniversary of its opening – a date which also coincides with the start of the summer season – March the 25th.</p>
<p>Much has been written in the press lately regarding the on-going fight between AENA (the state owned managers of the airport) and Ryanair (surely, no introduction required ?), specifically their decision to slash 18 routes for the coming summer season, representing the loss of an estimated 300 flights per week, and 1.5 million passengers before the end of the season.</p>
<p>In relative terms this equates to a 15% loss of business on 2011 – which, when you consider that the new terminal only operated at 50% of its design capacity last year, represents a disappointing move.</p>
<p>There is also the fact that the neighbouring airport of Corvera is also expected to open over the course of 2012 – which is estimated to take as much as 20% of El Altet’s traffic away.</p>
<p>&#8230; I digress: These are just thoughts that are bouncing around my head as I am sat waiting for my flight to be called.</p>
<p>What the press has been at pains to point out since the Ryanair debacle first came to light is that fact that 2011 represented the 4th best year for the number of tourists since records began. It also represented a record year for the revenue generated by foreign visitors, with every indication being that 2012 should generate equally impressive figures.</p>
<p>Or at least that is the estimation for Spain as a whole.</p>
<p>The Costa Blanca will need to brace itself for lean times after Ryanair (amongst other airlines such as Air Berlin, Lufthansa etc&#8230;) has turned its back on El Altet in favour of other destinations. Palma de Mallorca – long a competitor of the Costa Blanca &#8211; is back in favour after Ryanair have diverted 6 aircraft from their [previous] base at Alicante to the airport, which has reflected a growth in popularity for the Balearic Island.</p>
<p>Although I am far from being Ryanair’s biggest fan I cannot understand how the AENA management at Alicante Airport think they can not only plug the hole that the airline’s cut routes have left behind, but can go on to grow business in 2013 once Corvera has opened, is way beyond my understanding.</p>
<p>Tumbit Flights</p>
<p>Regardless of where you live or your reasons for visiting Spain, the whole process of searching for the cheapest and most convenient flights for you and your family can be time consuming. That&#8217;s why at Tumbit we have partnered with Cheapflights, who search through hundreds of available flights every day to find the best deals for you. www.tumbit.com</p>
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		<title>OPENING NEW DOORS FOR EXPATS</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2320&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=opening-new-doors-for-expats</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:27:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dave Bull]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fiscal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Alicante’s busiest expat lawyers PELLICER &#38; HEREDIA are getting busy in 2012 with new offices opening in CIUDAD QUESADA and another exciting project on the way!
Being one ofSpain’s most dynamic law firm’s means that PELLICER &#38; HEREDIA are always looking at ways to grow their business and 2012 is no different with a coupe of big projects in the pipeline and one happening this month – in Ciudad Quesada.
In their current offices (Alicante, Petrer &#38; Hondón) PELLICER &#38; HEREDIA have helped many expats with their legal and tax issues by ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Alicante’s busiest expat lawyers PELLICER &amp; HEREDIA are getting busy in 2012 with new offices opening in CIUDAD QUESADA and another exciting project on the way!</p>
<p>Being one ofSpain’s most dynamic law firm’s means that PELLICER &amp; HEREDIA are always looking at ways to grow their business and 2012 is no different <span id="more-2320"></span>with a coupe of big projects in the pipeline and one happening this month – in Ciudad Quesada.</p>
<p>In their current offices (Alicante, Petrer &amp; Hondón) PELLICER &amp; HEREDIA have helped many expats with their legal and tax issues by having highly trained (and very friendly – I can confirm) multi-skilled staff, fluent in English and with many years of experience in dealing with Spanish law.</p>
<p>Add to that Ignacio (Pellicer) and Pedro’s (Heredia) vast experience dealing with, not only, British law (a substantial amount of their work has an international aspect and they regularly act for foreign companies and private individuals representing their interests in Spain on both transactional and litigation matters) then it’s easy to see why the lawyers are so successful.</p>
<p>The new office (which will open in early May) is located in Avenida. de las Naciones 36, L.6, Ciudad Quesada, Rojales and Ignacio and Pedro will personally be dealing with all new clients along with secretary Adrianna and having developed a reputation of being independent, reliable and committed to their clients, the guys tell me that they would be more than happy to prove it to you.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Over the years PELLICER &amp; HEREDIA have dealt with most problems or issues that arise for expats when living inSpainincluding, Complaints and Claims, Defects in construction, Debt recovery, Starting a business and International Commerce. But the lawyers told me that at this time of year a lot of their time is taken up dealing with expats’ taxes inSpain– especially the annual tax declaration (‘Renta’) which is due now.</p>
<p>The Personal Income Tax (or to give it its full name, Impuesto sobre la renta de las personas físicas / IRPF) is a direct tax levied on the income of individuals.</p>
<p>So if you have an income inSpain(no matter where it comes from) you need to make a declaration and make sure you are in the system to avoid possible fiscal issues later on. A person’s individual&#8217;s income may derive either from a salary or obtained by means of self-employment: development of a business or professional activities, or if you have a pension that is paid to you inSpain.</p>
<p>It’s a simple and inexpensive process and, as I stated before, the benefits of being ‘in the system’ are huge (especially in a country like Spain that has it’s fair share of bureaucracy…) and the taxable income is determined as the difference between the income earned and the expenses that are deductible according with Spanish Law with many people not needing to pay a cent.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Life inSpain- READ ALL ABOUT IT!</p>
<p>As if they didn’t have enough to do helping out expats…the two lawyers have somehow found the time to write a book advising expats on the best way to enjoy life inSpain– by avoiding all those possible fiscal annoyances. The book, a concise and thoroughly readable reference book for expats inSpain, covers everything you need to know to be confident and informed about living here. And far from being in ‘lawyer-speak’ the book is in an easy to read format with sections clearly marked to help you, not only, deal with Spanish paperwork (such as buying or selling your house- or getting the kids into school) but also to understand why you may get fined for building that Olympic-sized swimming pool on the roof terrace (for example!).</p>
<p>Out in the summer we’ll make sure here at All Abroad HQ that we let you know where and when you can lay your hands on the book most expats have been waiting for!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>PELLICER &amp; HEREDIA offices (Alicante Region)</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>CIUDAD QUESADA</p>
<p>Avenida de las Naciones 36, L.6, Ciudad Quesada, Rojales</p>
<p>Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282</p>
<p>Email: <a href="mailto:info@pellicerheredia.com">info@pellicerheredia.com</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>ALICANTE</p>
<p>Plaza Calvo Sotelo,1, 03001Alicante</p>
<p>Below British Consulate</p>
<p>Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282</p>
<p>Email: info@pellicerheredia.com</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Hondón de las Nieves</p>
<p>Plaza de la Vila, 30, 03688 Hondón de las Nieves (Alicante)</p>
<p>Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282</p>
<p>Email: <a href="mailto:info@pellicerheredia.com">info@pellicerheredia.com</a></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Petrer</p>
<p>Avda de Madrid, 60, 03610 Petrer (Alicante)</p>
<p>Tel. 965 480 737 – 606 056 282</p>
<p>Email: <a href="mailto:info@pellicerheredia.com">info@pellicerheredia.com</a></p>
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		<title>Windows 8 is Coming!</title>
		<link>http://www.allabroad.es/?p=2317&#038;utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=windows-8-is-coming-2</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Apr 2012 06:25:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dave</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Computers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Help and Advice on living in Spain]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[So you’re wondering I am only just getting used to Windows 7 on my computer well folks it’s time to get fresh once again. Microsoft has released its Consumer Preview version of Windows 8 for all to download and use. Some of you out there running Windows XP on higher powered machines may be able to run Windows 8 but if you are running a 7 – 10 year old Windows XP box I would not recommend you to try and install Windows 8 it will just spoil your experience, ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So you’re wondering I am only just getting used to Windows 7 on my computer well folks it’s time to get fresh once again. Microsoft has released its Consumer Preview version of Windows 8 for all to download and use. Some of you out there running Windows XP on higher powered machines may be able to run Windows 8 but if you are running a <span id="more-2317"></span>7 – 10 year old Windows XP box I would not recommend you to try and install Windows 8 it will just spoil your experience, I would wait until the years end and get some brand new hardware to go with the brand new Windows 8 and enjoy the experience. So you are wondering what’s new in Windows 8 well over the coming months running up to the release we are going to cover the new features and show you the great new ways of doing things in Windows 8.<br />
Touch is King!<br />
The first major thing that Windows 8 achieves is a brilliant touch interface designed to run on the up and coming Windows tablets and also on current touch screen devices. Before now windows has struggled with the touch environment, but Windows 8 has bought the Metro interface from its successful Windows phone platform and also a similar Metro theme has been ported over to the XBOX .<br />
This is going to be the first screen that you see once you have entered your password and is known and the “Start Screen” whenever you press your Windows Key on your keyboard you will be greeted with this screen and no longer with the Start Menu.<br />
From this new location you will have shortcuts to all of your installed applications and also a mixture of Metro applications which will connect for example to your email account or your Facebook account. The applications with Live Tiles as they are called on Windows phone will show how many emails you have or updates to your Facebook wall or your twitter feed, basically allowing you with a quick glance to check the status of all your information. Also moving your mouse cursor to the right of the screen will auto scroll the window to reveal more shortcuts and applications.<br />
Personalization of the start screen is really easy, once you have a nice collection of Metro apps and shortcuts you can drag them around to just where you want them.</p>
<p>The Patterned wallpaper can be changed to a colour scheme you like.</p>
<p>There is also an “All Applications” section with all the other shortcuts on your machine.<br />
There are lots of people out there who have been using Windows for over a decade and yes that mean users of good old XP, this start screen experience is light years away from Windows XP and pushes the boundaries between devices such as PC’s, Laptops, Phones and Tablets. Also you will find if you now use one Microsoft device and move to another you will not have such a learning curve to tackle as they all have the same “Metro” interface. So that means you can switch from your Desktop PC to your grandsons Windows phone and amaze him with your skills as it will looks very similar.</p>
<p>So to sum things up Windows 8 with its new Start screen and Metro style are bringing together devices and also simplifying the way we interact with our Pc’s and consume our personal data. But do not fret the Windows Desktop is still there behind the Start Screen so next time round we are going to cover how you can still interact with the Desktop and how it now functions side by side with the Start Screen.<br />
If you have any more questions regarding Windows 8 you can email us or follow us on www.facebook.com/ibertech and chat with us there.</p>
<p>The Iber-Tech Team</p>
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